Losing Control
by NiceAsPie
Summary: Draco is losing control of his life...and it is all centered on Harry Potter. HPDM Slash. Bad summary, I know.
1. Chapter 1

Warnings: This is a HPDM Slash fic…if you don't like, don't read. Uh, there is sex later on (but not like, porn quality…I think it's fairly tame…), they swear a bit, and there is a rape scene. I don't want to offend anyone so don't read it if it is going to upset you. Really. If you're gonna read it, read on and enjoy 

CHAPTER ONE

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: Give me a handful of candy-canes (God bless after Chrissy sales) and watch me go!  This started as a completely different fic, which I got bored with and scrapped after eating perhaps one too many candy canes (although if you ask me 12 is NOT too many). Oh, I may not be entirely accurate with events, etc. that happened, but please forgive me, I haven't read the books in years (in fact, I do believe I only got up to the one where Sirius dies…I forgot the name of it). Honestly, I prefer the movies (wow, I NEVER prefer movies, don't shoot!). Please R&R! Oh yeah, song lyrics are from "Duality" by Slipknot… (I heart Slipknot!) And I apologize in advance for reference to lyrics from Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"…I despise that song, but it's been #1 in the charts over here for weeks and weeks and weeks and it is stuck in my damn head constantly…grrr…

Harry sat in the Great Hall, a silent pocket in its otherwise overwhelming noise level. He pushed the food on his plate around mournfully before dropping the fork with a slight _clatter_ that cracked his silence. All the sounds came rushing in, crushing him. It was the first day back and normally he would be overjoyed, but he wasn't. He just wanted to return to Grimmauld Place. He felt safe there, even without Sirius … oh God … Tears filled his eyes at the slightest thought of his godfather. It was like rubbing salt into a wound.

'Harry?' Hermione whispered.

Harry shook his head, murmuring for her to leave him alone and then fleeing the room. The eyes of the Gryffindors weren't the only ones following him; a solitary pair of steely eyes also followed his progress before snapping back to his friends. Seated beneath the green and silver banners he felt like a traitor. He couldn't explain it, but his eyes kept drifting toward the red and gold…a strange longing rising in him. It was sacrilegious; he was a Slytherin, a Malfoy, he shouldn't feel this way. He couldn't… He disgusted himself. He was a failure in every possible sense of the word.

'Stop drooling, Draco, it's unbecoming of one of your social standing.' Blaise whispered in his ear, a grin on his face.

'I-I'm not… I wasn't…' Draco mumbled with ineloquence unfamiliar to him.

'Relax, although I must say, you couldn't possibly have chosen a worse person for your next sexual conquest if you'd set out to do so on purpose.'

Draco raised a pale eyebrow.

'What do you mean, Zabini?' he snarled.

Pansy touched his cheek tenderly.

'Poor dear, you haven't even realized it yourself.'

Draco slapped her hand away, murmuring for her to leave him alone and then stalking from the room. He didn't understand what he was feeling, why his eyes, usually so cold, were now misted over with tears. He roughly wiped the back of his hand across his eyes, clearing them. He took several deep breaths, trying to clear the tightness in his chest that precluded tears. He stalked the corridors, angry at himself. What was he doing? He heard sobbing from an alcove and stepped closer, astonished at the sight of brilliant green eyes staring back at him, veiled with sorrow.

'Malfoy…what are you staring at?' Harry whispered, with none of the usual vehemence.

Draco, puzzled, simply stared, breathless, his heart pounding. His brain couldn't function, his mouth couldn't form words. Harry was staring back, his eyes dull. He was weary, too weary to fight, even with the bane of his existence. A flash of blinding pain and green light overcame him and he fell, grasping the nearest thing for support; unfortunately that happened to be Draco. The sudden contact seemed to snap Draco out of whatever…trance…he'd been in and he stared contemptuously at the hand on his shoulder. He stepped backward, the hand dropped, and he watched Harry wobble, trying to maintain his balance. As Harry began to fall to the floor, Draco swiftly steadied him with an arm around his waist.

'Merlin, Potter.' Draco muttered, supporting the boy's entire weight which, admittedly, wasn't substantial.

He felt the boy shudder and twitch as he held him up. Harry was mortified that he was reliant on Draco to remain upright, but the pain, the light, it overwhelmed him. When he finally had the sensations under control and he had stopped trembling he extricated himself from Draco's grasp and, mumbling a thanks to the boy, returned to the Great Hall, flushing pink. Draco trailed slowly behind, arriving as Vincent, Jonas was sorted into Ravenclaw. He sat at his place at the table, suddenly so very weary. He chanced a glance over at the Gryffindor table, seeing Harry, still slightly wobbly, his head buried in his hands. He smirked a little, finally realizing what Blaise and Pansy had been getting at. _What the hell have you gotten yourself into?_ He asked himself, disturbed by the warmth rising in his groin at the vision of emerald eyes.

--

Silence throbbed in Draco's brain louder than anything he'd ever known. Left alone his thoughts rambled, disgust and desire mingling over emerald eyes. Everything was fucking green…in these surroundings he would never forget Potter. Goddamn Potter, he thought, running his hands through his immaculate hair, messing it up. He hated not feeling in control, it reminded him of- NO_!_ He admonished himself, shaking his head to clear those thoughts. He pushed his thumbs into his eyes, hoping to ease the ache in his head, lyrics of a half-remembered muggle song running through his thoughts.

_I push my fingers into my eyes_

_It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache_

_But it's made of all the things I have to take_

_Jesus, it never ends, it works its way inside_

_If the pain goes on I'm not gonna make it_

He screamed and began throwing things around the room, filling his ears with the rewarding sound of things shattering and breaking, thinking he'd finally lost his fucking mind. He stalked from the common room, through the corridors and into the cool night air that embraced him tenderly. He was shocked to discover tears rapidly drying on his cheeks in the wind. He hadn't realized he'd been crying…another indication he had lost control. He swore under his breath and kicked the dirt. He sensed a presence behind him and whirled around, wand at the ready. He swore again when he realized it was only Potter and tried to calm his pounding heart.

'Potter, shit, make some fucking noise when you come up behind someone.' Draco snapped, putting his wand away.

He waited for the customary smarmy response but all he received was a "sorry" in a hoarse voice. Draco frowned, confused. He tried again to incense his opponent.

'Fucking hell Potter…what are you staring at?'

'Hmmm…?' was Harry's vacant response.

Draco had an overwhelming desire to take him in his arms, and then was disgusted by the thought. He didn't go for this soppy lovey-dovey stuff, hugs and what-not. Love wasn't fun if it wasn't rough. The next thing he knew he had Potter pushed against the wall, their mouths pressed violently together. He looked into a pair of extremely surprised green eyes and stalked off, licking his lips, looking for the lost time. What the fuck had he done?

--

Harry eventually drifted off into a fitful sleep at around 5am, plagued with thoughts of Draco, but awoke soon after, a scream dying in his throat. He sighed, knowing further attempts at sleep were futile. He laid still, thoughts of steely eyes and soft lips running through his head, filling him with confusion.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: Was writing this all at once…if chapter divisions are screwy, blame…er… Not me? Blame my puppy-dog, yeah, he did it! :D

First period was potions. Draco entered the room, a sneer dying on his lips when he saw Harry stepping towards him.

'Malfoy, I-'

Harry was cut off by Draco leaping at him, knocking him to the floor, his wand pressed to Harry's neck.

'If you ever,' he hissed, 'mention that to anyone, if you ever breathe so much as a syllable about last night, I will kill you. Make no mistake about that.'

Draco expected to see anger, even fear, in Harry's eyes, but what he got was an expression of…sullen resignation. He wanted to be hurt, and that turned Draco on…which made him even angrier. He was about to utter words to cause Harry pain the likes of which he'd never felt before when he felt himself lifted up and off by the strong arms of his godfather and the potions teacher Severus. He saw Harry helped up by Ron and Hermione and sneered at them.

'Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter, this is beginning to grow tiresome. Would that one of you killed the other so no more would we have to suffer through petty arguments. Fifteen points from each of your houses, and detention for both of you, tonight. And no more of this nonsense; it grieves me to have to remove points from my own house.' He looked pointedly at Draco as he said this.

The class settled into their seats, but the boys humiliation wasn't over yet; when partners were assigned Harry and Draco were furious to learn they were working together. Harry dropped his books on the table next to Draco's belongings. Draco raised a pale eyebrow as Harry sat sulkily, his arms crossed, refusing to meet his eyes.

'Potter, will you-' Draco began.

'I know what to fucking do, Malfoy.' Harry cut him off.

Draco raised his eyebrow again.

'I never intended to insinuate otherwise.'

And with that round-about half of a compliment the boys set to work.

--

In detention the boys sat on opposite sides of the room, musing to themselves. Severus had set them no task, merely telling them to "think" and "not kill each other". Draco was growing irritated as he could feel Harry's eyes on him, boring into his skull.

'See something you like, Potter?' he snarled without looking up.

There was no response and Draco looked out of the sides of his eyes, seeing Harry staring at the floor, his face and neck red. Draco smirked and stood up, walking over to the windows. He looked out pensively, gazing upon the grounds as the sun set. It would soon be 24 hours since he had kissed Potter, and, despite how he fought, he longed to do so again. He looked at Harry, smiling at the lock of black falling across his forehead. Harry looked up, green eyes meeting grey.

'See something you like, Malfoy?' he whispered, confusion marring his face.

Draco knew it was stupid, he should respond with some smart-arse comment. Instead he strode across the room, pulling Harry's head back by his hair and pressing their mouths together, probing with his tongue. Harry wasn't exactly refusing him and Draco grew angry. He wanted to be refused, to know he didn't stand a chance. He pulled Harry out of his chair by the front of his robes and then pushed him to the floor, falling on top of him. He realized the state of his arousal and stood up, ashamed and disgusted. He breathed deeply, pressing his head against the cool glass of the window, begging that his erection cease. When it finally did he turned back to the room. Harry was lying on the floor where Draco had left him, his eyes closed, staying oh-so-still. Draco swore and flung various flasks around, listening to them shatter, thinking that it sounded much less menacing than it actually was.

'Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!!' Draco cried, thinking that was all he wanted to do.

'I didn't know you were gay.' Harry whispered in a small voice.

'Of course I'm fucking gay! Merlin, Potter, are you really that stupid?' Draco cried.

Harry sat up slowly, looking at the shards of glass on the floor surrounding him. He drew his knees to his chest, rested his chin on his knees. Draco looked at him and swore again. He hated losing control. The door to the room opened and Severus walked in, stopping and staring in amazement at the shattered glass everywhere. He immediately turned to Harry and began berating him about "wilful destruction of other's property", during which the boy remained silent. Draco sighed and stepped toward his godfather.

'It was me.' he whispered.

'What?' Severus asked incredulously.

'The glass. I shattered it. I'm…I'm sorry.'

Severus frowned at his godson and sighed.

'Very well. Both of you return to your dorms. I don't want to deal with you anymore.'

Harry skulked out of the room and Draco followed, his head full of thoughts he hated.

--

The first words out of Blaise's mouth when Draco walked into the common room were 'Did you take him?' Draco frowned.

'You know, you and the object of your desire, alone in a room…' Blaise continued.

Draco shook his head at the blithering idiot.

'Nearly.' He responded.

It was clearly not the response Blaise had expected for he began to splutter. Pansy hit him on the back until he stopped.

'What happened Draco dear?' she asked. 'Nearly is not usually your style.'

'I stopped. It's Potter, for Merlin's sake.'

'And?'

'He's driving me fucking crazy.'

Blaise smirked and Draco felt an urge to hit him.

'Just fuck him and you'll forget him, it always happens.' Blasie said wryly, perhaps remembering their brief encounter.

Draco nodded, thinking that Blaise was right. That was the only way to get the boy off of his damn mind. It had worked without fail every time before, so why not now? Blaise smiled at Draco, touching his arm.

'I'll get Potter for you. The sooner you get over this, the better it will be for everyone.'

With that Blaise ducked out of the room. Draco grinned maliciously. He would make Potter his and then he'd be able to forget him.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: Enjoying things so far? It gets worse, rest assured. I'll just return to my sugar high and distracting thoughts of a cute American baseballer that is my brother's coach… *sigh*

He was standing, impatient, waiting for Blaise to return with Potter. He was dressed to seduce, he knew that. Tight pants, tight shirt, black to offset his pale skin and hair. Others swooned when they saw him this way; he would have Potter. He smiled as he saw Blaise and Harry walking toward him, catching bits of their one-sided conversation.

'- I don't understand … why are we … where … I don't …' all in Harry's voice, broken up by Blaise's deep chuckle.

Harry stopped in his tracks when he saw Draco, but Blaise had him by the wrist and pulled him forward.

'No, no, you misunderstand. I'm not gay.' Harry cried.

'Ah, but Draco is. And what Draco wants, Draco gets…or haven't you figured that out yet?'

Blaise pushed Harry at Draco who caught hold of him and pulled him into the Room of Requirement. It was bare but for a bed in the centre of the room. Harry moaned in fear.

'Draco, don't…' he whispered.

Draco pulled Harry in close, looking directly into his eyes.

'I can't get you out of my fucking head, Potter. You're driving me fucking mad. And this is the only goddamned way I know how to fucking get you out of it!'

He pushed Harry toward the bed, Harry stumbling over his feet as he walked backwards.

'Draco, please don't do this…' he pleaded again.

The backs of his knees caught the edge of the bed and he fell backwards onto it, murmuring "no" under his breath. He crawled backward as Draco leant against the bed.

'Draco…' Harry moaned a final time.

'Don't fucking call me that. I am, and always will be, only can be Malfoy to you. MALFOY!' he cried, flipping Harry onto his stomach.

He didn't want to see his eyes, didn't want the accusation, the pleading.

_It's just sex_, he thought as he tore down Harry's pants.

_It's just sex_, he thought as he unbuttoned his own.

_It's just sex_, he thought as he entered the boy, listening to his cry of pleasure and pain combined.

_It's just sex_, he thought as he thrust into Harry.

_It's just sex_, he thought as he climaxed.

_It's just sex_, he thought as he did his pants up.

'It was just sex.' He told Harry, listening to his sobs.

Draco felt shit; he was a monster. Harry rolled to his side, exposing a sticky patch on the bed indication he had climaxed too, but Draco knew – from experience – that just because your body responded didn't mean you'd wanted it. What the fuck had he just done? He ran his hands through his hair, handing Harry his pants. He searched for words to take it back, to undo this horrible act he had done. He vaguely heard Harry whispering something, thinking that he heard his name and the phrase "not like this", but that made no sense. Draco knew he was a little insane. He left the room of requirement, now haunted by emerald eyes filled with tears. Blaise asked if he'd gotten what he wanted, but Draco shot him a look that froze him to the bone. The two Slytherins left in silence. Harry limped to the door, trying to hold up his ruined pants, letting himself into the corridor and colliding with a solid body. Severus looked at Harry disdainfully, but slight concern entered his thoughts as he saw the boy's condition. Tears were streaming down his face and he was trembling, his pants sliding down as the boy fought to hold them up. Harry was overwhelmed by a flash of green light accompanied by the usual pain and fell into Severus' arms, surrounded by soothing blackness. Severus shook the boy gently but he was firmly planted in unconsciousness. He gathered up the frail body and headed toward the infirmary and Madame Pomfrey. But first, he had to know what had happened. He peeked, just a little, into Harry's unconscious mind; with no defences it was quite simple. What he saw there horrified him. Upon depositing the boy with Madame Pomfrey he stalked back to Slytherin, intent on finding his godson.

A/N: Oops, poor Harry. I didn't set out for this to happen, but I go where my thoughts take me…it kind of fits…will explain more in upcoming chapters (if I can lose my sugar high). Oh, oh, oh, did you catch the despair from Draco? If not, reread! It's there, just a single phrase…


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: uh…words in my head whilst writing this: _My guilt, and my shame always sell me short, always feel the same, and my face, and my soul, always wear me thin, always under control _(Sulfur – Slipknot) How perfect are Slipknot songs for this fic? I mean really…it's ridiculous.

'MALFOY!'

The cry rang out through the halls, waking students and teachers alike.

'MALFOY!'

The Slytherin rooms were abuzz with muffled whispers about their house leaders' anger with his godson.

'MALFOY!'

Draco stepped meekly from his room, his eyes red from the tears he had shed. His godfather didn't notice this as he grabbed the boy by the arm and dragged him bodily into his office.

'WHY DRACO? WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THINKING?'

The volume of his godfather's rage stung Draco's ears and he winced.

'I…I don't quite understand.'

'YOU- How many terrible acts have you committed tonight?'

'I…what?'

'You raped Potter!' Severus hissed, putting a name to his rage.

'Oh…I wouldn't exactly call it that…'

Draco stopped as Severus' hands wrapped themselves around his neck, seemingly of their own accord, throttling the boy. As he strangled his godson, the memory he'd received from Harry flooded Draco's senses. He heard Harry's cries, his begging and pleading, felt his pain. There was only one thing Draco could not decipher from the memory, and that was the words Harry had been whispering. Severus would not grant him access to those.

'How could you do that Draco? You, of all people… Do you even have the remotest idea of what you have done? Do you even care? I won't sit here and watch you turn into your father!'

Severus released Draco, who crumpled to the floor, gasping for breath. And the tears fell. He sobbed, his body shaking with the effort of it. He curled up in a ball on the carpet, sickened by himself. He was a monster. Severus stared down at the snivelling mess that had only moments ago been his godson, cool as a cucumber. He fell to his knees beside the boy and pulled him into an awkward hug, wanting to comfort him, his rage diminished.

'How could I do that to him?' Draco whispered.

Severus heard the self-loathing in his godson's voice and smoothed the boy's hair with his hands, so clumsy against a child's face.

'I just…I'm a monster. After what happened to me…how could I inflict that pain on someone else? I just wanted him to get out of my head, and now he won't fucking leave, ever! Is he…is he ok?'

'Under the circumstances, he is better where he is now than if he was conscious. When he wakes his world will come crashing down.'

Draco sighed, the tears slowing. But the feeling of utter despair at having caused Harry such hurt was driving him mad. So was the niggling thought at the back of his mind that he might actually be in love with the boy.

'What the hell happened?' Severus asked softly.

'I- I lost control…' Draco responded, eyes downcast.

'Seems to me you had plenty of control, Draco. Tell me, did he ever say "no", or "don't"?'

Severus knew the answer; he simply wanted to force Draco to see the truth. Draco nodded mournfully, swallowing back bile. Finally he couldn't take it anymore and he vomited onto the floor and his godfather's robes.

'Sorry…' he croaked before falling into forgiving darkness.

Severus sighed and for the second time that night took an unconscious child to the infirmary.

--

Draco awoke, for a moment blissfully unaware of anything. Then it all came rushing back in and he curled his knees to his chest in a futile attempt to ease the stabbing pains he was feeling. He watched Madame Pomfrey in her ministrations to the only other patient in the room: Harry. Draco realized that Severus hadn't told her…either that or they were truly punishing Harry, who was currently lying on his bed, staring at Draco, his entire body tensed, terrified. Draco covered his face with his hands, but could still see emerald eyes, brimming with tears. He also could hear sobbing, a wretched heart-breaking sound…until he realized it was coming from him. No longer heart-breaking, merely shameful. He tried to stem the sobs but couldn't and began to panic; he was losing control. He focused hard on his breathing, driving the panic down. A sharp intake of breath from the other bed caused Draco to look up in surprise. Harry was clutching his head; his body was trembling as it had the first day back, in the alcove. That all seemed so long ago now. Harry cried out and Madame Pomfrey rushed to his side, muttering soothing words. Draco seized the opportunity to slip out, unnoticed.

--

Weeks had passed and Draco was settling back into the school routine. He couldn't so much as hear Harry's voice without bile rising in his throat, and to look at him caused stabbing pain to flare in his head and abdomen. But he couldn't escape the vision of emerald eyes; they tortured him in what little sleep he could catch. He hadn't spoken about that night, and Blaise and Pansy intuitively knew that to ask about it would be a mistake. Draco was beneath the bleachers watching the Gryffindor's quidditch practice, watching Harry. He was nursing the pain, feeling it grow inside him, wanting to be punished so bad. He heard footsteps behind him and turned, not caring who it was. A flash of red and Draco doubled over in pain, a soft _oof_ accompanying the out rush of air. He peered into the faces of his attackers; the Weasley brothers, Ron and…the twins…Fred and George, their faces as red as their hair. So Harry told them, Draco thought as he was hit again. And again. He could taste the rich copper of blood and smirked, enjoying the physical beating. Real tangible pain from a real tangible source. He was pushed to the ground, assailed by kicks. He felt the satisfying crunch and blinding pain of a rib fracture. He heard the other members of the team come close and prayed they wouldn't stop it; he was finally getting the punishment he deserved. They turned a blind eye. Draco felt the pain blooming around his body and collapsed into darkness, hoping they would just kill him.

--

Draco awoke in agonizing pain, coughing up blood. It was less than he deserved, he knew that. He tried to stand but couldn't find the strength. He closed his eyes and waited for death. He felt a trembling hand touch his back and flinched at the pain even such a gentle sensation caused. He breathed in and could tell who it was by their scent: Harry. Warm breath tickled his ear as a whisper told him to hold on until help arrived. Draco wished even more that the Weasley's had killed him; this was unfair. He opened his eyes and saw green ones full of terror and…pity. Draco angered; he wanted no pity. He deserved no pity, especially from the one he had wronged so violently.

'Pity me not, Potter. Leave me to die.' Draco spat vehemently.

Harry darted off, leaving Draco to wallow in disgust and self-loathing.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: Things can only get better? No? Anyway, song lyrics are from Gematria (The Killing Name) by none other than (you so totally guessed it, I know you did) Slipknot. *loud cheers*

'How could you?' Harry asked Ron.

'Bastard deserved worse than that for what he did to you.' Ron replied.

'It is not our place to punish him, besides, I think he is punishing himself more than enough.' Harry whispered, much to his friend's surprise.

'Harry, I don't understand.'

'No, Ron, you don't.'

With that Harry got up and stalked coldly from the room. He barely understood himself, so knew it was unfair to expect Ron to. All he knew was that he hadn't wanted Draco beaten like that, even though he should've. He headed for the last place he knew he should go: the infirmary. He entered the room, silent, noting how white everything was. The room. Draco. Except for his bruises, which were a deep rich purple. Even with Madame Pomfrey's ministrations he was still horribly injured, almost as if he did not want to heal. Harry sat on the floor next to Draco's bed and grabbed hold of his hand. It was like ice, and Harry subconsciously massaged the fingers in his own trembling fingers, hoping to warm him. He knew Draco was unconscious; liked to think that was the only reason he was here. He was terrified that Draco would hurt him again. But more so that he would like it. Again. He began to sing softly, half-remembered lyrics of a forgotten song.

_Jesus, I don't need this_

_Don't wanna be this icon in the making_

_My hands are fucking shaking_

He stopped, musing at the irony of the lyrics, then realising that was why he had thought of them. He dropped his chin to his chest, still holding Draco's hand, almost as if for dear life.

'Draco… Can't you wake up? I, I don't understand…anything anymore. I can't even begin to comprehend what, why… I just want you to wake up. I want to see you stalking through the halls, hatred for me in your eyes. I want to hear you insult me, and for us to fight, and for it all to be like it was before. I don't want to be confused anymore. Can't you wake up? I…I think I need you to. Draco… I want you to only be Malfoy again. I don't want to think of you as Draco. Are you sure you can't wake up?' he whispered.

His hand was squeezed and for one horrible moment he thought perhaps Draco had indeed woken up and heard the nonsense he had just spouted. Turning to look at him he prayed to see hatred in grey eyes, but Draco was as still as before. It must have been a fluke, a nerve reflex, something. Harry removed his hand from Draco's and, without thinking, brushed Draco's lips with his own.

'Can't you wake up?' he asked as he left the room as silently as he'd entered.

Draco's eyelids fluttered like something from a fairytale as he awoke. He had felt the warmth on his lips, had heard the sad question, and felt like he couldn't sleep any longer, though he wanted to. God, how he wanted to. He felt like he'd been hit by a truck. His entire body ached, the ribs especially so. He knew he deserved all this and more. He closed his eyes again, hoping for sleep. At least in his sleep he was in control.

--

Harry slept fitfully, dreaming of Draco. He awoke with a …problem, which he quickly dealt with before others could notice. Not what was expected from a rape victim, especially one who'd been dreaming of his attacker. He sighed, not wanting to feel like this. It was wrong on so many levels. He got up, dressing quickly and quietly, and rushed to the infirmary before he had to be at breakfast. When he got there he found Draco awake, staring angrily at the ceiling.

'You, you're awake.' Harry said, his heart pounding.

'Nice observation there Potter. What do you want?'

Harry didn't respond and Draco could practically hear him thinking. He sighed; he wanted to sit up and Madame Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen. Personally Draco thought she might be hitting the drink.

'Look, I know it's probably the last thing you'd ever want to do and I'd understand perfectly if you left but I could really use some help. As intriguing as a plain white ceiling can be, I'd love to sit up, and…I just don't have the strength.'

All was silent for a moment and Draco assumed he'd left, couldn't blame him, when Harry's face appeared over his. He was chewing his bottom lip nervously and tears sprang into Draco's eyes, which he tried to hide. Draco felt each touch burn him as Harry slid an arm beneath his shoulders and as gently as possible tried to pull him up. Draco cried out at the pain in his ribs and Harry immediately froze.

'I'm not hurting you, am I?' he asked worriedly.

Draco shook his head. When he was finally seated he realized he'd been holding his breath. He exhaled, wincing at his injuries.

'Thanks.' He mumbled.

It was then he noticed that Harry was bright red and blatantly avoiding looking at him. The blanket had slipped and other than that he was only covered by the bandages around his ribs, so he quickly pulled it up to cover his lap.

'Sorry…' he muttered.

Harry looked at him and was amused to see the tips of Draco's ears flushing red.

'Potter, I-'

'Draco, wait. You asked me before what I wanted, and I've thought of something. I want you to call me Harry.'

Draco stared at him like he was out of his mind. After what had happened…

'Harry.' Draco whispered.

Harry smiled, then grabbed hold of his head, stifling a cry as green light suffocated him.

'Harry!' he heard Draco cry, his voice full of concern.

Harry focused on remaining upright until the sensation passed. He looked at Draco and smiled queasily.

'I'm ok, but I have to go. Maybe I'll come back later…if I can…'

As Harry left, Draco whispered 'I'd like that.' Perhaps he could find redemption for what he had done.

--

Harry sat down to concerned glances from his friends.

'What? I'm fine.' He said cheerfully.

Ron frowned.

'Are you bonkers, mate? Losing your mind a little?' he asked.

Harry shook his head.

'I'm fine now. Really. I just…need to put this behind me.'

Ron stared incredulously.

'You just want to forget?' Ron cried.

'Shh, Ron. People will hear.' Hermione said, placing a hand on his arm.

'Yeah Ron, I do. I think it's best if I move on. He's been punished, both physically and mentally. I want to move on.'

'Perhaps that is best.' Hermione said softly.

Harry grinned at her and began to eat. After breakfast he rushed to see Draco. He was astonished that he was looking forward to seeing him again so much. He entered the room and smiled. Draco was still sitting, only now he appeared to be asleep. Harry leant against the doorframe and watched him. A faint smile appeared on Draco's face.

'Are you just going to stare at me all day?' he asked, opening his eyes.

Harry flushed red.

'You know, you do that a lot.' Draco mused.

'What?'

'Blush.'

'I do not…' Harry whispered, red again.

Draco laughed softly, then winced. He was glad for the pain, in some ways. It reminded him of what he'd done.

'I brought you this.' Harry said, holding out an apple.

Draco took it and placed it on the table next to him.

'Po- Harry, can I ask you something?'

'Sure.'

'Why are you here? After, after what I did…' he trailed off.

'I…uh…I don't know.' Harry whispered, averting his eyes.

Draco sighed.

'Can you pass me my clothes?' Draco asked.

Harry saw them on a shelf and did so. Draco pulled the shirt over his head, biting back cries, and then went to put his pants on but stopped.

'Could you turn around?'

'Oh, right.'

Draco finished dressing and tried to push himself off the bed but failed, falling back with a grunt. Harry rushed to his side.

'Let me help you.' He whispered.

Draco nodded his assent and Harry pulled him up. Draco's breathing quickened to be this close to Harry. Their eyes met and Draco quickly looked away, the tips of his ears red again.

'You know you blush too.' Harry whispered headily, intoxicated by Draco's proximity.

'Malfoy's don't blush.'

'Ah…but Draco's do.'

Draco smiled and Harry fought the urge that came over him to kiss him.

'You'd better get to class.' Draco whispered.

'What about you?'

'I'm coming. I'll just take a little longer. Go, you don't want to get in trouble.'

Harry knew he was right, so released him and walked slowly, almost reluctantly from the room. When he reached the end of the corridor he looked back and saw Draco leaning against the doorframe for support, breathing heavily, a thin film of sweat on his face. Harry rushed back and put an arm around his waist, holding him up.

'You really should be going to class.' Draco muttered.

'And you really should be in bed. But since you're adamant about attending class you're going to have to let me help you.'

'I can do it myself.' Draco said through teeth gritted in pain.

Harry let him go and he stumbled.

'Let go of your pride, Draco.'

'It's. Not. Pride. You can't. Want. To. Help. Not after…' Draco practically wheezed.

Harry grabbed him around the waist again, pulling him forward.

'Forget that.'

'I can't…'

'I want you to.'

'I don't.'

Harry sighed but didn't press the point any further. The boys made painstakingly slow progress, Draco wincing with every step. He focused on the pain, not on the feeling of Harry's arm around him. Draco stopped before they reached the classroom, digging his heels in.

'We can't…' he gasped.

'It will be fine, Draco.' Harry whispered, gently propelling him forward.

They entered the room and Severus looked up at them with raised eyebrows and pursed lips. The entire class stared in shock at the state Draco was in, all except Ron, that is.

'Well boys, since you are so late I suppose you will be working together, though I must say I thought you were to remain in the infirmary for a while, Draco.' Severus said, staring at his godson questioningly.

'I don't want to fall behind, sir.' Draco muttered, his entire body roiling with pain.

'Hmm. Back to work, class.'

Draco tried valiantly to maintain control but his hands were shaking, he was too weak. Harry gently took things from him and performed the necessary tasks. At some point Severus walked past them, placing a vial of blue-ish liquid before them.

'Drink that, it'll help with the pain, and maybe some of the bruising. Broken bones I can do nothing about.' He said, then walked off.

Draco looked at the vial with hatred, refusing to pick it up.

'Drink it, Draco.' Harry hissed.

'I won't. I need the pain.'

'You're stubborn. And you are not just in pain, you are in agony. Drink it.'

'No.'

Harry looked at him, but Draco avoided his gaze.

'Do it for me, Draco. Drink the damn liquid.'

Draco sighed and reached out a trembling hand for the vial, which he almost dropped. Harry quickly caught it and lifted it to Draco's lips. Draco drank it, fury and sorrow blending in his gaze. He looked around; most of the class had been too busy with their potions to notice, but Hermione was staring at them, her eyes questioning. Draco groaned and placed his forehead on the table. His physical pain was easing and the shaking had stopped, but he still couldn't bear what he had done to Harry, and how nice Harry was being to him. By all rights he should want him dead. The class filtered out, leaving Harry, Draco and Severus in the room. Harry gingerly touched the nape of Draco's neck, his hand lingering perhaps a moment too long, and he made to leave.

'Harry,' Draco cried. 'I'm sorry.'

Harry looked back at him, seeing the tears trembling in his eyes so they were no longer grey but silver. Harry smiled.

'I know.'

With that he left the room.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: Am I fluffing around a bit? Perhaps. But I am trying to…I don't know… I will get to the point eventually. Gimme a break, please? :)

Draco remained alone in the potions room; his godfather had left him after trying in vain to draw out words. He couldn't move. Sure, he was physically improving thanks to whatever it was in that vial, but mentally he felt he was disintegrating. The more Harry forgave him, the worse he felt. He shouldn't be forgiven. He heard the sounds of someone entering the room quietly and looked up, coming face-to-face with a frizz of hair and brown eyes that could only belong to Hermione Granger. He dropped his head back to the desk.

'Is it Miss Granger skipping lessons? What do you want?' he grumbled.

'Malf- Uh, Draco…can I call you Draco?' she asked tentatively.

'Why not, it is my name after all.'

'Well, it's just, uh…forget it. I just wanted to, well, talk to you about Harry.'

'Why? Don't you know what I've done to him?'

'Yes, I do. And, strangely enough, he seems to have accepted it and moved on, even wants to be your friend. If you weren't such a selfish, self-centred git, perhaps you'd realize that.'

'How could he want to be my friend? I'm a monster.'

Hermione put her hand on his arm gently.

'You're not a monster, Draco. You just…made a mistake. We know you're not like your father, as much as you pretend you are. It was a mistake, right?'

'Mmm… I didn't want to force him.' Draco whispered.

Hermione was silent for a moment as Draco realized what he'd just said. He cursed himself and lifted his head, looking into her eyes which, surprisingly were not filled with revulsion, rather understanding.

'You…you love him, don't you?' she asked softly.

Draco didn't want to say it out loud, but she must have seen the answer in his eyes. She smiled at him.

'Be his friend, Draco. Make him happy. Think about someone other than yourself for once. Just…don't tell him how you feel; it could crush him.'

'I'm not daft. Besides, it could never work. Slytherin Prince and Malfoy heir in love with The-Boy-Who-Lived? Preposterous.'

Hermione heard the regret in his voice.

'Just be a friend.'

With that she left the room, having gained a new respect for and from Draco. Draco decided to take her advice and haul himself out of his misery, if only to make Harry happy.

'At least one of us should be happy…' he whispered to himself.

--

And so the weeks passed, and the friendship between the boys grew. Draco was even grudgingly accepted by the Weasley's, although their suspicion of him was not diminished. They just wanted Harry to be happy. Blaise and Pansy were also welcomed with open arms, and late nights would often find them huddled in the library with Hermione, studying and benefiting from her seemingly boundless knowledge. The Christmas holidays snuck up on them quickly. Hermione and Ron were headed home to their respective families, whilst Blaise and Pansy were going to one or another of the various properties that their families owned. Draco was heading home, which he was none too thrilled about, and Harry was going to Grimmauld Place. It hurt to think of being there alone, but Ron and Hermione had promised to visit, even Neville and Luna said they'd stop by if they found the time. On the last day before the break, Harry saw Draco sitting by himself before the iced-over lake and wandered over to him.

'Hey, Draco.' Harry said softly, sitting down on the snow-covered ground.

He immediately shivered a little; he wasn't really prepared for the chill of outside. Draco looked at him and handed him his scarf without saying a word. Harry gratefully wrapped the green and silver around his neck.

'What are you doing out here?' he asked, his breath before him in little clouds.

'Thinking.' Draco responded.

'What about?'

Draco frowned a little, not wanting to divulge that he had been thinking about Harry. He realized now how much he was in love with the boy, and it frightened him. He worried that it would affect their friendship one day.

'Draco?' Harry asked.

'Hmm? Oh…I just…I'd rather not go home.'

'You could come and stay with me.' Harry said, the words falling out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Draco raised a pale eyebrow.

'Uh…what I meant is…well, if you get bored, see, I'm staying at Sirius', I mean my house. And, well, you could come by, if you wanted. Or not. It doesn't matter.'

Draco smiled to see Harry tripping over his own tongue. Before he could respond Harry had leaned in and kissed Draco tentatively, and then ran off through the snow, the scarf trailing behind him. Draco was greatly astonished at Harry's actions, and, although pleased, was concerned that it was a break in character. He stood up and made his way back inside, knowing these holidays would be torturous.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: I know, I know. But still…

Harry was bored. It was that simple. Early in the break Luna had stopped by with her dad as they passed through to some exotic location in search of who knows what. Neville had stopped by once, but couldn't come again…trouble with his gran. Both Ron and Hermione had been by numerous times, but they had recently begun dating so he was seeing less and less of them. So maybe he was lonely too. He hadn't dated anyone since Cho. Sure, he and Ginny had made a go at it, but both had quickly realized there was nothing there. He still couldn't believe he'd actually kissed Draco, but the Slytherin scarf served as an ugly reminder of his foolishness. How could he have jeopardized their friendship? He sighed, nursing his eggnog and staring into the fire that was slowly dying. He could relight it, or ask Kreacher to, or just leave it be. He settled on the last option, sinking deeper into his chair as he relaxed. As he dozed off he heard the loud _crack_ of apparition and sat up with a start. He tiptoed to the door, his hand on his wand. He waited for the knock of a friend and with none forthcoming grew concerned. He figured it was one of two things: either someone who wanted him dead or a friend who was hurt. Hoping it was the second one he unlocked the door and eased it open. Huddled on the porch was a pile of rags that on closer inspection revealed ice-blonde hair.

'Draco?' Harry gasped.

He received a moan in response as Draco toppled forward. Harry grasped his limp body around the chest and pulled him inside, depositing him near the fire. He began to remove Draco's damp clothes, but the boy slapped his hands away.

'Can do it myshelf…' he mumbled.

'Draco…' Harry whispered.

'Am fine. Lemme do it…'

Draco sat up and fumbled at his clothes for a moment before lying down, exhausted and frustrated. Harry made to help again but Draco fixed him with an evil glare.

'Gimme a minute…I'll do it…you'll shee…'

Draco's eyes glazed over and his body relaxed. In a way, Harry was relieved that he'd lost consciousness, and quickly removed his clothes before he could regain it. He gingerly covered Draco with a blanket, but not before looking him over. He was battered and bruised, much worse than when Ron had attacked him. Looking at his naked body Harry felt the first twinges of arousal and dropped the blanket. He didn't want to admit that he was falling for the Malfoy…he didn't even want to admit that he might be gay. He sighed and made for Hedwig's cage. He got the owl out and wrote a quick note to Severus, attaching it to her leg.

'I don't know where he is, girl, but please…find him.' Harry whispered before Hedwig took off.

Harry returned to the living room, stoking the fire to ensure a warm blaze, before retiring to the couch. Despite his best efforts he soon fell asleep, wondering what had happened to Draco, and why it had brought him here.

--

Severus sighed impatiently at the owl rapping on his window. He just wanted to be left alone. Nevertheless he allowed it entrance, taking the letter from it. _Professor Snape,_ he read, _I know you have no reason to, but please come to Grimmauld Place as soon as you read this; we have need of your expertise in potions and the like. It may be a matter of life or death. Yours sincerely, Harry Potter. Oh, and it's not my life that is in peril. Please hurry._ Severus sighed angrily, but knew it was not some trite matter that caused Potter to hunt him down this way. Despite the dislike he felt for the boy, he realized urgency was a must in this situation and so quickly packed a few necessary items before apparating to Grimmauld Place.

--

Harry awoke with a start to the loud _crack_ of apparition. _Please God, let it be him_, he thought as he opened the door cautiously.

'Potter. I hope whatever you needed was indeed as urgent as you proclaimed; I was making great progress on- Oh dear lord!' he proclaimed, rushing to his godson's prone body.

Draco was stirring, his body coated in a feverish sweat. Severus gathered the boy in his arms.

'Potter, he needs to be in a bed, now…did you remove his clothes?'

'Uh…yeah…they were wet…' Harry responded softly, leading Severus through his house.

'Good thinking. The fever would be stronger had he remained in them. Now, leave us be…I will do all I can for him.'

With that Severus pushed Harry out of the room he had been led to and shut the door in his face. Harry slid down the wall, burying his face in his hands.

'Please let him be alright…' he whispered.

--

Severus opened the door to find Harry asleep outside of it, tear stains on his cheeks. He gently shook his shoulder and, when the boys eyes opened, pressed a finger to his lips indicating that he should be quiet. They went downstairs and sat in the living room before the dwindling fire.

'Is he ok, Professor?' Harry asked hopefully.

'He's…alive. Let him sleep, and ensure he drinks the potion I left. But tell me, Potter, why did he come here?'

'I, I don't know. I was sleeping and I heard something and when I went to look he was on the porch, nearly unconscious.'

'Hmm… Did he tell you what happened?'

Harry shook his head. Severus stood and touched the boys shoulder gingerly.

'Take care of him, Potter. For some reason he is reaching out to you. Make sure he drinks the potion.'

'You're leaving?'

'I cannot stay here, I am sure you will be fine. You can follow basic instructions?'

Harry nodded, enraged that the adult was leaving him in charge. He escorted Severus to the door and, when the Professor had left, slammed it shut angrily. He then stole up the stairs to the room Draco was in, easing the door open and peering in at him. Severus had worked wonders; much of the visible damage had vanished. But Draco was still feverish, and was tossing and turning as if in the grips of some evil. Harry entered the room, closing the door behind him, and sat in a chair, watching. Draco cried out in his sleep and then his eyes opened wide, darting about the room.

'Where am I?' he croaked.

'You, you are in a room at my house, Grimmauld Place.'

Draco's eyes settled on Harry.

'Harry?'

'Hi.' Harry whispered, smiling faintly.

'How did I get here?'

'You just showed up on my porch. I couldn't leave you outside. Professor Snape was here…'

'He was? Is he still here?'

'No…he had to leave.'

Draco stared at Harry for a moment, unsure of what was happening. Was this some elaborate prank? And then he remembered…his father… He cried out again and pulled the blankets over his head. He felt Harry sit on the side of the bed, but heard nothing.

'It was my father, Harry. He…he…' Draco began.

'Don't tell me if you don't want to.'

'No, I… He saw…memory… My father saw my memory of, of…the last day of school, before we left. He, he went insane. He locked me in the basement and he…he tortured me. He claimed that I had been revealing Death Eater secrets to the other side. I finally escaped and…I guess I came here.'

'I'm so sorry, Draco…' Harry whispered.

Draco slowly pulled the blanket down so he could look at Harry, whose eyes glimmered with tears.

'Don't cry…' Draco whispered.

Harry smiled and wiped a hand across his eyes.

'Harry, I…I'm frightened of what he will do to me…once he finds me, that is.'

'He won't do anything to you. Whilst you are in my home you are under my protection, and that of my friends. We will guarantee your safety.'

'But after that? When I recover and have to leave?'

'Who said you have to leave?' Harry muttered, averting his eyes.

Draco remained silent. Harry made to leave the room, but Draco called after him.

'Don't leave me…'

Harry turned back, seeing the fear on Draco's face. For his father to have caused such terror… Harry sat back down on the bed. Draco moved over so Harry had room to lie down. Within moments the two boys were asleep, each dreaming of the other and the love they thought they could never have.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: Is anyone still reading these? Much less the story? Are we enjoying it? I think I'm rambling, but I lost my sugar high before I wrote this next part…hope it's still ok… :P

Draco awoke to the comforting feeling of an arm slung across his waist. He smiled and then remembered where he was.

'Harry…' he whispered.

Harry groaned and moved his body closer to Draco's, nuzzling his face into Draco's neck. He too realized where he was and his body tensed. He pulled away and Draco sighed softly.

'…sorry…' Harry muttered, heading for the door.

'You have nothing to be sorry for. But please, where are my clothes?' Draco asked.

Harry turned red as he noticed Draco's nudity.

'Oh, uh, I'll just go, uh, get them… uh, drink the potion…Professor Snape said you must…'

Harry raced from the room. Draco swallowed the potion, grimacing at its vile taste, and then lay back, waiting for his clothes. He wished he hadn't woken Harry, then he would still be in bed with him. He waited for a while, but realized Harry had been gone for a long time. He sighed and, wrapping the sheet around his waist, headed out into the house. He stood at the top of the stairs and called out to Harry. Harry appeared at the bottom of the stairs, but so too did Ron and Hermione; looking angry and astonished, respectively. Draco groaned. He and Harry had done nothing wrong, so why did he feel like they had?

'What's that git doing here, Harry? Has he hurt you again? If he has, I'll fucking kill him.' Ron said angrily.

Hermione leaned in and whispered to Harry, 'Why is he naked?'

Harry turned red and raced up the stairs to Draco, clothes in hand. He thrust them at Draco, refusing to meet his eyes.

'Get dressed Draco, please... We'll, we'll be in the kitchen if you want to join us.'

Harry ran back down, herding his friends from the room. Draco suddenly felt ashamed and exposed and returned to the bedroom to dress. He couldn't believe Harry had made him feel ashamed. He debated leaving, but knew that if he did he wouldn't be safe from his father, so headed toward the kitchen. He paused before entering, listening to the argument between Ron and Harry occurring inside.

'He fucking raped you, man, and you're letting him stay here?'

'He's in trouble Ron.'

'No, Harry, he IS trouble. And you will be in trouble if he stays.'

'He's my guest, Ron. You will just have to accept that.'

'NO! Harry, don't you understand what he is? I will not be here while he is.'

Draco was pushed aside as Ron stormed out of the kitchen, Harry running after him.

'Ron, don't go… Can't you put aside your differences for me?' he pleaded.

Ron turned and looked at Draco evilly.

'I hope your father gets you. Are you coming, 'Mione?'

Hermione rushed past, whispering 'sorry' to both Draco and Harry. Harry slammed the door after them and kicked it, swearing profusely.

'I can leave, if you want me to.' Draco said softly, hoping to hear that he could stay.

'Why would I want you to leave?' Harry asked.

'Your friend…he's…terribly angry…'

'Ron? He…may get over it. Hermione will talk to him. I would prefer it if you stayed.'

Draco grinned, and then toned it back a bit, not wanting to arouse suspicions.

'I'll stay. Where else am I going to go?'

Harry moved past Draco, and then suddenly turned and pressed their mouths together, kissing Draco with an ardour that stole his breath away. Harry pulled back, face flushed but eyes wide.

'What have I done?' he whispered before running off.

'Harry!' Draco called after him.

Draco chased Harry through the house, finally cornering him in a room that may or may not have been a study.

'I'm sorry, Draco. Please, I didn't mean to…I just… I couldn't help it. I'm sorry…please…' Harry mumbled, leaning against a wall with his back to Draco.

Draco came up behind him and snaked an arm around his waist, pulling him backwards so their bodies touched.

'Never apologize for that.' Draco whispered in Harry's ear.

'I…' Harry began.

Harry's knees were weak…was this really happening? Draco kissed Harry's neck and Harry moaned.

'I thought…you didn't…' Harry gasped.

'Didn't what? Want you? Hell, I've always wanted you, Harry. Were you that blind?'

Harry turned in Draco's grasp, looking in Draco's eyes hopefully. Draco kissed Harry, laughing softly against his lips. He slid a hand inside the back of Harry's pants, encountering only bare skin. He raised a pale eyebrow.

'Naughty boy.' He whispered, causing Harry to blush.

Draco kissed Harry again, and had begun to feel the first indications of arousal when his head filled with Harry crying "Draco, don't." Draco pulled away, hoping to hide the extent of his arousal from Harry. Harry looked at him with hurt eyes.

'Draco?' he asked, confused.

'Harry, I…I can't…' Draco mumbled.

'Are you…does it still hurt?'

Draco nodded numbly; oh how he hurt, but not from his father. Severus' potions had taken care of that.

'Shall I call on Professor Snape again?' Harry asked.

'N-no. I just, I think I need to rest.'

Draco kissed Harry again, perhaps a little less passionately, and left the room. Harry stared after him. He'd finally had all he'd been longing for in his grasp, only to have it taken away. Draco hoped that they would have opportunities for that later, and that later wasn't too far away. He strolled through the house, visions of tearful green eyes tormenting him, hearing pleas for him to stop.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: Just a short aside from the main plot, but it ties in. Enjoy.

Hermione grasped Ron's hands in her own. Ron raised hers to his lips, kissing them. She'd finally gotten him calmed down.

'Ron, now, please don't get mad again, but I think you need to give Draco a break.' She whispered.

'Oh, so it's Draco now. Has everyone gone mad? Why on earth should I?'

'It's just…you don't understand.'

'What is there not to understand, 'Mione? He's an asshole.'

'It's just…oh… You have to keep this a secret.'

'Keep what a secret?'

'Harry, Harry's in love with Draco.'

'WHAT?' Ron burst out laughing. 'That is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Harry's not gay.'

Hermione looked at Ron angrily.

'I'm not lying, and it's not funny. Harry is in love with Draco. Perhaps he hasn't admitted this to himself yet…'

Ron was doubled over with laughter at this point.

'Jeez, I know you're not used to being wrong, but man oh man are you wrong now.' He cried.

'I'm not wrong. And you know what…Draco loves Harry too, even if it's just a little bit.'

Ron stopped laughing and looked at her like she was mad.

'Malfoy couldn't ever love anyone, much less Harry. He raped him, for god's sake.'

'Ron, you are the only one still carrying on about that.'

'And you don't think that's wrong?'

'If Harry's accepted it, shouldn't you?'

'I don't have to accept it. And I will NOT accept that my best mate is in love with that git. I'm sorry Hermione. You are wrong.'

Ron stalked away. Hermione shook her head, praying Draco and Harry were finding some solace in each other, finally. She followed Ron, pleading with him to calm down.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: And back to the main show! Wheee… Oh, I don't know if Grimmauld Place actually has a pool, but for the benefits of my story it does. So deal with it. :p

Harry searched the house, looking for Draco. He'd had plenty of time to cool off; hell, Harry had needed it himself. But now he was concerned…with Lucius out to get him Draco needed to remain where it was safe. Harry needed him to. He wasn't going to lose him. Harry entered the pool room and upon hearing splashing immediately relaxed. He watched Draco swim for a while, sitting on the edge of the pool and dangling his legs in the warm water. Draco could feel Harry's eyes on him but was trying his hardest to ignore him. Finally he swam over to where Harry was sitting.

'Hey.' He said nonchalantly.

'Hey.' Harry replied.

'Come on in.'

'I, uh…can't.' Harry muttered, flushing red.

Draco grinned, remembering.

'Ah…I don't really want to see your skinny butt anyway.'

Draco languidly swam away and Harry realized he was naked.

'You, you're naked!' Harry cried.

Draco gave Harry his best _Who, me?_ expression and then smiled.

'Well surely you didn't expect me to go swimming in the only clothes I have with me.'

Harry didn't respond, simply stared at Draco as he swam lazily back and forth. Harry cried out suddenly, falling into the pool as the green light enveloped him. He panicked as his nose and throat filled with water but was soon above it, gasping in air as he clung for dear life to Draco. Harry peered sheepishly at Draco, hoping he wouldn't be concerned, but saw that he was.

'I'm fine.' He whispered.

'I don't think you are… I've seen you like this several times now. How long has it been going on?'

'Um…since we returned to school… That was the first time.' Harry lied; it had been going on since Sirius had died.

Draco looked intently at Harry, not believing him. He sighed and then smiled.

'Can you swim?' he asked.

'Uh…sort of…' Harry replied.

Draco let go and Harry began to sink, but by floundering his arms remained afloat. Draco was slowly swimming off toward the side and Harry followed, much less elegantly. When he finally reached the ladder he was too exhausted to pull himself out.

'Need some help?' Draco asked.

Harry looked up.

'No.' he responded belligerently.

Draco sat on the side of the pool, drying his hair with a towel, another wrapped around his waist. Harry watched the rivulets of water dripping down his torso and soaking into the towel. He tried to pull himself out again, but his arms shook too much.

'Are you sure you don't want my help?' Draco asked.

Harry shook his head, and let go of the ladder, sinking under the water. He watched Draco's reflection through the rippling water, surprise on his face. Harry held his breath and waited. He watched Draco stand up, still looking in the water at him. Harry waited, his head feeling like it was going to explode. Finally, with darkness flickering at the edges of his vision and the horrible feeling that this may have been a mistake, Draco dove into the water, and his mouth was on Harry's, giving much needed air to the boy. Draco pulled Harry to the surface, tossing him onto the side before crawling up after him, his chest heaving.

'That. Wasn't. Funny. Harry.' He said evenly.

Harry simply coughed pathetically. How could a joke have turned so wrong so quickly?

'What if you had…died?' Draco asked, turning his head to Harry.

Harry saw the tears in his eyes and knew he wasn't mad but terrified. Harry moved to him, wrapping his arms tightly around Draco's quivering form.

'I'm sorry…I never meant for it to go that far…I would never hurt you…forgive me?'

Draco turned and pressed his lips to Harry's, giving all the answer Harry needed.

--

THE NEXT DAY

Harry awoke slowly, stretching dreamily. He reached out to the side of the bed Draco had lain on last night but found it to be empty and cold. His eyes opened and he sat up.

'Draco?' he called.

Upon receiving no answer he got out of bed and stumbled sleepily toward the door. He wandered through the house but couldn't find Draco. Harry grew concerned; what if Lucius had got him? He then heard the front door opening and ran toward it, encountering Draco trying to sneak back in. Harry threw himself at Draco, wrapping his arms around his neck and causing them both to fall to the floor.

'Harry, it's ok.' Draco laughed.

'I thought, I… You were gone, and I…' Harry couldn't finish a sentence, so happy was he that Draco was safe.

Draco gently pushed Harry off of him and stood up.

'I met my mother in town. She packed my things for me.'

Draco pointed his wand at some small boxes and they regained their normal size.

'My mother, she would've been discreet…' Draco lied, knowing that Narcissa was perhaps anything but.

Harry hugged Draco again, his body trembling. Draco hadn't realized Harry would react so, and was slightly pleased. Never before had he been cared about so much.

'I'm fine, Harry. I got back all in one piece, didn't I?'

'But what if you hadn't?' Harry asked softly.

Draco held Harry tighter, whispering soothingly to him.

--

The remainder of the holidays passed much too quickly for Harry's liking. Once they returned to Hogwarts any relationship would be impossible…not to mention unwise. He was falling more and more for Draco, but was unsure of what Draco felt for him. Whenever things moved toward sex Draco pulled away, even if he had instigated the encounter. Harry had grown adept at hiding his 'episodes', and, despite the tension between them, Draco and Harry were happy. The morning of their return to school Draco awoke to find Harry staring at him, tears glimmering in his eyes.

'Harry?' Draco whispered.

'Mornin' Draco.'

Harry lay his head on Draco's chest, listening to his heartbeat, and entwined their fingers, feeling his pulse.

'I wish we didn't have to go back to school…then we could still have this.' Harry murmured.

'Who says we can't?' Draco asked, pressing his mouth to Harry's.

Harry moaned, tangling his fingers in Draco's hair. Draco responded with a moan of his own, but then leapt out of bed. Harry was determined not to let him get away this time. He came up behind Draco, sliding an arm around his waist.

'Need a hand?' Harry whispered headily, slipping his hand down the front of Draco's pants.

Draco tensed and flung Harry away from him. Harry's head hit the wall and he slid down it, his mouth in an 'o' of surprise and fear in his eyes. Draco swore softly, disgusted with himself, and left the room. Harry began to cry softly, listening to Draco packing his things. He heard the front door open and close and then readied himself for the trip to Platform 9 and ¾. Upon arrival Ron took one look at Harry's face and smirked, whispering 'I told you so' to Hermione and earning himself a resounding slap.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: This occurs some weeks later after my last chapter…I didn't write about those weeks because it would've just been Harry and Draco angst-ing over each other, which, well, isn't essential. You figure they'll be all angsty so you don't need to write about it, right? I can do it if people need me to (please don't need me to… :) )

Hogwarts was holding a masquerade ball for the students. Draco reluctantly agreed to go when Pansy and Blaise threatened him. Since returning to school Harry hadn't spoken to him once, wouldn't even look at him, and Draco had only left his room when absolutely necessary. Maybe he deserved it, but he wished he could explain things to Harry. The night of the ball Draco entered the hall nervously, almost turning back when he saw Harry dancing with Ginny, holding her tight. Blaise and Pansy each grabbed an arm and they pulled him into the room. They danced and Draco, sandwiched between them, tried to forget Harry, instead focusing on the hands running over his body. Pansy's? Blaise's? Both? Draco decided it didn't matter and wondered idly where the night would lead. Hermione's voice disrupted his thoughts.

'Mind if I cut in?' she asked.

Draco looked at Ron scowling in a corner and shook his head, extricating himself from Blaise and Pansy, who immediately turned their ministrations to each other.

'You clean up nice.' He told Hermione.

'Thanks. Uh…you look like you're having fun.' Hermione said, eyebrows raised questioningly.

'Oh, that. Yeah, I guess.'

'Why don't you talk to Harry? He misses you.'

'Could've fooled me.' Draco muttered, looking toward Harry and Ginny.

'She's just trying to make him feel better. I thought you loved him.'

'Jeez you're direct. I did, I do, but…'

'But…?'

'God, every time I touch him I hear him pleading for me to stop, hear him crying. I can't handle it.'

'You're still punishing yourself.'

'I can't help it.'

'He needs you, Draco. He's falling apart.'

'Nobody needs me.'

'Who are you kidding? Look closely at him.'

Draco did as she'd said and saw that Harry's posture was slouched, his eyes glazed, his lower lip trembling. Ginny looked incredibly concerned. Not the happy couple he'd thought.

'I…uh…didn't realize.' He mumbled.

Hermione smiled.

'You have to fix this.'

'I, I will. For now I should return you to Weasley. He looks like he might explode.'

Hermione laughed softly and moved off. The dance was suddenly interrupted by the appearance of Lucius. Draco frowned, fear chilling him to the bone. How'd he get here? Lucius looked at his son coldly, stepping over to him and grabbing his arm tightly. The entire room was staring, shocked and terrified.

'Father?' Draco whispered.

'I have no son.' Lucius hissed.

Draco felt a sharp pain in his knee as his father tapped it with his cane, and then Dumbledore and Severus were removing him. Draco felt funny. His mouth seemed furry whilst his limbs turned to jelly. He laughed hysterically at his situation and then crumpled to the floor, convulsing in agonizing spasms. He sensed the presence of someone beside him, felt a cool hand on his forehead, and then lost his grip on consciousness.

--

He awoke to agony. He was blind. He screamed and screamed, the echoes ringing in his ears.

--

He awoke with no recollection of losing consciousness. He could no longer hear his screams…the rawness of his throat indicated that he could no longer do so. His vision was still gone. His body was on fire. He wanted to scream.

--

Cool liquid trickled down his throat, soothing it. He seemed to have passed out again. He thought his vision had improved; he could make out darker fuzzy shapes in the general blackness. This time he felt the gentle tug of the blackness on his consciousness and collapsed willingly.

--

Hermione and Ron tried to console Harry but to no avail. Dumbledore had taken Draco somewhere and nobody seemed to know where.

'I don't see why you care so much, Harry.' Ron muttered, tiring of the situation.

'I need to see him…to talk to him. What if he's dead? I never got a chance to tell him how I felt.'

'I'm sure he knows.' Hermione said softly, silencing Ron with a look.

'But what if he doesn't?' Harry asked, collapsing to the floor, his body wracked with violent sobs.

--

He awoke, amazed at the clarity of his vision. His body still ached so much, and as he pulled himself into a sitting position a stabbing pain radiated out from his knee, causing him to cry out. He wondered what had happened. He started as Dumbledore's weary face peered around the doorframe.

'Ah good, you're awake. We thought we might lose you for a while there.'

'Where am I? What happened?' Draco asked.

'Lucius poisoned you at the masquerade ball, do you not remember?'

Draco thought back to the stabbing pain when he was hit with his father's cane and nodded.

'I remember now.'

'As for where you are, all that matters is you are safe. No one except myself and Severus know you are here, or, for that matter, whether you are alive or not.'

Draco's thoughts immediately flew to Harry.

'They think I'm dead?' he gasped.

'They have received no conformation one way or the other.'

'Harry…you must… You have to let Harry know that I'm ok.'

'I don't know if that's the safest thing to do… Why Harry?'

'I…I love him.' Draco whispered, avoiding Dumbledore's gaze.

The old wizard simply raised his eyebrows and sighed.

'I'll see what I can do.' He said softly.

'You, you will? Oh, thank you…thank you!'

'Settle down. You have not recovered completely. Try to sleep.'

Draco nodded and lay down, judging it best not to mention that all he'd been doing was sleeping. Soon his eyes closed and his breathing steadied as he fell into a sleep he hadn't realized he'd needed.

--

Hermione and Ron looked up as Dumbledore stepped into the Gryffindor common room. Harry remained curled on the floor.

'Harry,' Dumbledore said, 'I need you to come with me.'

Harry got up slowly, his gaze remaining on the floor. His face was blotchy and his eyes red and swollen from crying, and he felt more than a little foolish. He silently left the room with Dumbledore and then stopped. Dumbledore smiled reassuringly as he pulled a blindfold from a robe pocket, tying it gently around Harry's head.

'It is best that you not see where we are going. Understand that this is highly unusual, and will only occur once. For all intents and purposes, the fate of Draco Malfoy is unknown.'

Harry began to cry anew as he realized that Draco was alive. When they'd reached their destination the blindfold was removed and before Harry was Draco, pale as death and asleep on a bed. Harry fell to his knees next to the bed and kissed his hand. Draco's eyes fluttered open.

'Harry?' he asked.

Harry broke into tears again and kissed Draco passionately on the lips. Dumbledore cleared his throat uncomfortably.

'Right…er, well, I'll leave you two alone for a while then. But remember Mister Malfoy, you are supposed to be resting.'

With that Dumbledore left the two of them alone.

'Draco…' Harry whispered, gently touching his face.

Draco smiled, grabbing Harry's hands in his own.

'I…I thought you were…' Harry couldn't bring himself to say the word.

Draco sat up, ignoring the pain in his leg.

'Apparently that's what everyone is supposed to think. But I told Dumbledore he had to let you know I was ok.'

'I…I'm glad you're ok. I don't know what I would've done were you not. And Draco…I'm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to, you know, push things.'

'Shh Harry…don't apologize…you did nothing wrong.'

Harry sat on the bed and Draco pulled him close, kissing him. He pulled away, gasping for air.

'I wanted to,' Draco whispered, 'But… All I could hear was you begging me not to…'

Draco's eyes filled with tears. Harry wrapped his arms around Draco and they lay down, Harry resting his head on Draco's chest. As they drifted to sleep Harry whispered to Draco.

'Draco, are you awake? Don't say anything, just listen. Back at the start of school, when you…when we… I well, I kind of wanted you to. But I was…ashamed I guess. And I couldn't believe that you wanted to. I guess I sort of wanted you to stop as I was afraid you were making a big mistake. I…I'm sorry…'

Draco kissed the top of Harry's head.

'The only mistake I made was forcing you. Do you forgive me?'

'Of course.'

Thus comforted the boys fell asleep.

--

Harry awoke to Dumbledore gently shaking his shoulder.

'Harry….you must leave now.' He whispered.

Harry sat up reluctantly. Draco grabbed his arm, pulling him close.

'Wait for me.' he whispered.

'Of course.' Harry responded, brushing Draco's lips with his own.

Dumbledore led a blindfolded Harry away. Draco sighed and tried to return to sleep but his mind was full of Harry's confession…could he be so lucky?


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: Again, some time has passed. Gimme a break…I just want to write about the more interesting bits (and I'm sure you only want to read the more interesting bits) so ner :p

Harry pushed the spoon around in his soup morosely. He missed Draco so much. Hermione glanced at him worriedly.

'Cheer up Harry…I'm sure he's fine.' She whispered.

Ron just grunted; he'd been behaving strange since he realized Harry was gay and in love with Draco. Harry sighed. Suddenly he heard a collective gasp and looked up to see Draco striding into the hall, looking as good as ever. The only indication of the "incident" was a slight limp that you would only notice if you were staring at him. And stare Harry did, until Hermione nudged him and he realized. He looked back at his soup, his face red. He snuck a glance at Draco who was now sitting with Blaise and Pansy and smiled shyly. Draco smiled back. Harry began to eat with new enthusiasm.

'I told you he was fine.' Hermione said softly.

Ron grunted again. Harry looked at him, narrowing his eyes.

'I don't know what you're problem is, Ron, but you're killing me. I thought we were friends.'

Ron didn't respond, but looked at his food, ashamed. Harry returned to his soup but saw letters appearing in it. He frowned as the message _Go for a walk?_ appeared. He quickly ran his spoon through, scattering the message, and looked up to see Draco leaving the room.

''Scuse me.' Harry muttered, leaving the hall after him.

He literally ran into Draco in the corridor.

'Ah…' he gasped.

'Harry…' Draco whispered, pulling him close.

--

Harry gazed in astonishment at Draco's room in the Slytherin house, musing only slightly on the unfairness that he didn't have to share it. Draco wrapped Harry in a warm embrace.

'I'm glad you're here.' He whispered into Harry's ear, his warm breath sending a shiver down Harry's spine.

Harry kissed him passionately, then stepped back.

'Draco…I…'

'Shh.' Draco responded, pressing a finger to Harry's lips.

He pulled Harry close, pressing their mouths together urgently. Harry shuddered a little as Draco's hands roamed his body. At the first twinges of arousal Draco once more heard Harry protesting but tried to ignore it, instead focusing on the real Harry, his mouth warm and sweet. His breathing deepened and he wanted to pull away, but remained in Harry's embrace. It was Harry who pulled back, noticing Draco's trembling.

'Are you alright?' he whispered headily.

Draco nodded, pulling Harry to him again. He gasped as Harry fumbled with his belt buckle and Draco had to fight the urge to pull away. As Harry slipped his hand in Draco's pants, Draco tensed.

'Do you want me to stop?' Harry asked.

Draco shook his head, so Harry kissed him again, gently pushing him onto the bed.

'Draco, I've never, I mean… Don't expect too much from me…' Harry mumbled, sliding Draco's pants off.

As Harry took Draco into his mouth, Draco gasped, trying to block out images of teary green eyes. Draco writhed beneath Harry's touch, eventually crying out. Harry stopped, releasing Draco and looking at him.

'Do you want me to stop?' Harry asked again.

'Gah! Don't tease…' Draco moaned.

Harry mumbled 'Sorry' as he took Draco in again. Draco's back arched as he climaxed and Harry sat up, swallowing, his face flushed.

'Was that…was that ok?' he asked.

Draco kissed Harry tenderly.

'Perfect.' He whispered.

Draco reached for Harry's pants but Harry stayed his hand.

'Don't push yourself, Draco. There'll be plenty of time.'

Harry lay back on the bed and Draco lay next to him, musing over how lucky he was.

--

Harry awoke to a shrill squeal and, looking up, saw Pansy and Blaise standing in the doorway. He fell off of the bed and quickly pulled his pants on. Draco raised an eyebrow sleepily.

'What do you want?' he asked.

'Well, it's morning…' Pansy began.

Draco sat up.

'What?' he asked.

'It's morning. Breakfast is any minute now.' Blaise responded.

'Shit!' Draco swore.

Harry remained silent, only visible from the eyes upward from where he sat behind the bed.

'Morning Harry.' Pansy snickered.

'Hmph.' Harry responded.

Draco went to get up.

'Have you seen my pants?' he asked, frowning.

Harry passed them to him, flushing red.

'Uh, Draco… How are we going to get him out of here without anyone noticing?' Blaise asked.

'I have no idea. We weren't intending to fall asleep. I'd planned on going back to dinner before people began to leave.'

'Well, won't everyone leave for breakfast?' Harry asked in a small voice. 'I could sneak out once they're gone.'

'Not everyone goes to breakfast…but we may as well give it a shot. It's not like there is another way.' Pansy said nervously.

Harry suddenly thought of something.

'Um…I think,' he said, rummaging through his pockets, 'that there is a, well, "secret" exit…let me see…where is that?'

Harry pulled out a crumpled piece of paper with a triumphant "Hurrah!". Draco peered at it curiously.

'What is that?' he asked.

'This is the Marauder's Map…it was just, uh, something my Dad had…once. But look, here's the Slytherin common room and, hmm…that's strange. It shows the secret passage leading from here.' he pointed to a spot on the map.

Draco frowned.

'That's here. I hate to tell you this Harry, but I think you're map might be wrong. If there was a secret passage in my room, don't you think I'd know about it?'

Harry raised his eyebrows and proceeded to tap on the walls. Pansy and Blaise stared at him incredulously whilst Draco pulled the blankets over his head and wished in vain that he was still asleep. Eventually Harry hit a hollow spot, producing a _thunk_ unlike that of the wall. He grinned, pushing slightly on it. The wall swung open. Harry gathered up his remaining clothes.

'Uh, I guess…I'll be going now. Uh…'

He looked toward the lump in the bed that was Draco, then to Pansy and Blaise.

'Uh, bye.' Harry whispered, slipping into the passage.

Blaise pushed the wall back into its proper position.

'That was rude, Draco dear.' Pansy muttered, pulling the blanket down.

Draco raised an eyebrow at her, smirking.

'I know…' he whispered.

--

Harry stumbled into the Gryffindor common room, coming face to face with Hermione. She looked him over before wrapping him in a tight embrace.

'Hermione…air…' Harry gasped.

'Sorry,' she said, releasing him, 'but when you didn't return last night I got concerned…'

Harry smiled.

'I'm fine, fantastic really.'

He hoped that the stupid grin plastered on his face would fool her, he really wasn't that fantastic…Pansy and Blaise had seen him, and Draco had been so…distant. What if everything was ruined? Hermione frowned at him a little before shrugging.

'Well, let's get going before Ron eats everything.'

Harry nodded and followed Hermione, his thoughts preoccupied with Draco. He realized he had nothing to worry about when he glanced over and received a loving smile from Draco. Although it quickly vanished for appearances sake Harry was relieved; everything was going to be fine.

A/N: I tried not to be so smutty…I think it turned out ok… I'm not going to disintegrate into porn, if I can help it (not that there's anything wrong with writing like that, I just don't feel it is essential to this story). Hope you enjoyed their first "real" encounter. :)


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: In case anyone hasn't noticed, I'm really taking no notice of what has happened in the books (aside from Sirius being dead). I don't feel it's a problem. And obviously you don't, or you wouldn't be reading! :p Enjoy C12

It was another week before Harry and Draco managed to get together alone, meeting once more in Draco's room.

'I want you.' Harry mumbled against Draco's neck.

Both boys were breathing heavily, their mouths feeling swollen and bruised. Draco kissed Harry again, undoing his pants. Draco leant Harry back onto the bed. When both boys were naked Draco paused, staring into Harry's eyes.

'Are you sure about this?' Draco asked.

Harry nodded, meeting Draco's mouth with his own. Draco made to enter Harry, but began to tremble uncontrollably, feeling his arousal ebb. Try as he might he could not do this.

'Draco?' Harry asked.

'…I'm sorry Harry…'

Harry sighed softly.

'S'okay. Just give me a minute.'

Draco leant on Harry's back and took his swollen member in his hand.

'Draco, you don't-' Harry began.

'Let me.'

As Draco stroked Harry into writhing, moaning submission he wondered whether he would ever have Harry again. A sharp intake of breath precluded Harry's climax and the boys collapsed onto the bed, Draco's tears burning Harry's back.

--

Draco awoke, cold, alone and ashamed. Harry had obviously snuck out some time whilst he slept, and Draco couldn't help but feel abandoned. He knew it was stupid, but still… He brought his knees to his chest and pulled the blankets over him, fighting tears. He didn't understand how he'd changed so much since the beginning of the school year…he only knew it was all due to Harry. He felt he was rapidly losing control of everything he had ever had a hold over, and the feeling was disconcerting. He wanted to be back in control, he wanted to be Malfoy, ice-cold and nasty. He didn't want to care so much. He was tired of crying… And deep down, secretly, he was just a little boy who wanted his daddy. He sighed and sat up, flinging the blankets aside. He quickly dressed and left his room by way of the secret passage. He moved silently through the corridors and stepped into the cool night air. He shivered a little, wriggling his bare feet on the cold concrete. He looked around him and saw Harry standing a little way off, staring blankly before him. Draco frowned and moved toward him, rubbing his arms to warm them.

'Harry…' Draco hissed.

Harry didn't move. Draco touched Harry's arm and felt it trembling.

'Harry…are you ok?' he whispered.

Harry still didn't respond and Draco recognized it as one of his "episodes". He pulled Harry in close and whispered soothingly in his ear until he stopped trembling. Harry didn't pull away when it was over; instead he snuggled in tighter against Draco's chest, relishing the feeling of Draco's arms around him. Draco finally broke the embrace, brushing a stray lock of hair from Harry's forehead.

'Have you spoken to anyone about this?' Draco asked.

'No…they always make such a big deal about everything.' Harry responded.

Draco smiled, kissing him gently.

'Maybe it's a big deal…'

'It's not…I'm ok. I can deal with it.'

'I know.' Draco said, kissing him again.

The boys walked back inside, returning alone to their own beds. Harry slipped into sleep easily, but Draco lay awake for hours, concern for Harry overriding everything.

A/N: Ah, short chapter but sweet (I guess).


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: This is the last chapter…thanks to all my loyal readers! :) Quite a time has passed in the story since C13, but, again, it was largely uninteresting.

The school year had finished, and Draco found himself staying at Grimmauld Place once more. It wasn't like he had anywhere else to go…and he wanted to stay with Harry. He stretched languidly, listening to the sound of running water from the bathroom. He sat up and tiptoed over, easing the door open. Harry was in the shower, his back to the open door. Draco slipped in the room, closing the door softly, and crept over to Harry, wrapping his arms around his waist.

'Boo.' He whispered.

Harry laughed softly, kissing Draco. Draco moaned softly.

'Are you happy, Draco?' Harry asked.

Draco raised an eyebrow.

'Of course.'

'Good. It's just…well…I know that this isn't the manner in which you are accustomed to living, but…I've been trying.'

'I don't care about any of that. I'm happy because I'm here with you.'

'Oh…' Harry said, turning red.

Draco kissed the hollow of Harry's throat, his hands sliding on slick skin. Harry moaned happily.

--

Hermione was sitting in the kitchen when they came downstairs, flushed from the shower. She raised her eyebrows but was grinning.

'Boys, how are you?' she asked, getting up to hug them.

'Fine, fine Hermione, but…where's Ron?' Harry asked.

'He…uh…he couldn't make it Harry.' Hermione stammered.

'Oh. I see.'

'I'm sorry, Harry. It's my fault.' Draco whispered.

'No. If Ron cannot accept that you are a part of my life now, then…then I guess…' Harry stopped, choking up.

Both Draco and Hermione knew Ron's behaviour was killing Harry. Draco began to make some coffee whilst Hermione tried to comfort Harry; he knew he couldn't help in this situation for, despite what Harry said, it was his fault. Ron hated the fact that not only was Harry gay (which he may have been able to deal with on its own), his lover was none other than Draco. Draco sighed, passing mugs to Hermione and Harry.

'I'm sure he'll come around, Harry. He just…needs time to adjust.' Hermione said.

Harry smiled wryly, saying nothing but shaking his head. Draco sat down at the table with them, regretting that he'd broken up their friendship.

'Maybe, maybe I'll visit Blaise and Pansy, and you can go see Ron…see if you can't straighten this out. If I'm out of the picture for a bit-'

'NO!' Harry cried, grasping Draco's hand tightly.  
Draco's eyes widened, surprised.

'You can't leave me.' Harry whispered.

Draco shook his head, placing his cup on the table and lifting Harry's chin.

'I won't. Ever. But don't you want to sort this out with Ron?'

'Not if it means isolating you. He will either accept this on his own or not.'

Draco smiled, but knew Harry wasn't as brave as he sounded. Hermione sighed and they turned to her, astonished to see tears in her eyes.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered, wiping them away, 'It's just…you love each other so much. I can't believe Ron doesn't see that.'

She smiled at them.

'Silly, I know.'

Harry smiled back, whirling her out of her chair and dancing through to the living room. Draco followed, chuckling, listening to her protests. Eventually Harry released Hermione and all three sat down, talking well into the night. When Hermione left she kissed them both on the cheeks, promising once more that she'd talk to Ron.

--

Harry stretched out on the bed, beckoning Draco forward with his eyes. Draco stood in the bathroom doorway, staring at Harry who wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. He grinned, raising an eyebrow.

'Come here…' Harry whispered.

'Oh, I don't know…' Draco responded, teasing.

Harry stuck his tongue out and rolled onto his side. Draco raced to the side of the bed, jumping to Harry's side. He kissed Harry's neck, his shoulders, his back, causing the boy to squirm. Harry rolled over, pressing his mouth violently against Draco's. Maybe tonight… There was an explosion of green light. Grimmauld Place was in ruins. Harry had a terrible stabbing pain in his head. He touched his face, his body, his arms and legs, determining that, although he may be injured he was still in one piece.

'Draco…?' he called out.

A/N: Th-th-th-that's all folks! :D I will write a follow-up, but can't guarantee it will happen any time soon as I am heading back to Uni (YAY! Last year!). If you keep an eye out for it I'll try and get at least a chapter up every month. If you want me to personally tell you when I put the first chapter up, lemme know in a review…I don't know what it will be called though. Hope you enjoyed it! :) Thanks to all who read and reviewed, and added it to story alerts!


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